If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
(So far ours is working, not perfect though, but at least no headaches and heartaches, just a MIL that, well, they say, strong people forgive and intelligent ones ignore, I would assume I'm both, lol.)
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better.
(And why would I ever change for a relationship, relationship is about compromise and compromise is a two-way thing)
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is don't stay because you think "it will get better" You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
(I can listen to women begging for their men to stay, but I just can't get the gist of it, I'm just so slow on this)
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
(This kind of man needs to be kidnapped, deadened and have his vans deferens cut off, yeah, I'm still a forgiving woman at least he still have to enjoy some waves of pleasure minus the consequence)
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
(Sadly, they're all gone physically, but we've turned cyborgs, LMAO)
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
(Hence, know every inch of what you want and your rights ladies!)
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
(Hahaha! You nailed it Oprah! My lips are securely sealed.)
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
(And often it doesn't happen, so why the hell bother)
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are ... Even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are.
(I've defined myself long before I've gotten into a relationship so there's no point - him redefining me)
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
(I'd rather score a pulsator)
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending ... Compromise is two way street.
(Yeah, also know your cards as well, when and when not to throw it)
You need time to heal between relationships ... There is nothing cute about baggage ... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you ... A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals ... Look for someone complimentary ... not supplementary.
(Ever since I've first had a boyfriend, I always do it one at a time and has a breather in between)
Dating is fun ... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes ... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
(I let him know where I am, for security purposes, but I always impose 'don't call me, I'll call you policy', unless it's emergency)
Never move into his mother's house.
(Shit! My mistake, but I’m not compromising, she’s not even in good terms with her son, I wonder how it happened, one great regret of this marriage, the downside of being an only son and living in a society where family is the core of it, anyway, wish a social infrastructure of sending olds to a home for the aged is in place and welcome in this nation, but sadly, it’s not.)
Never co-sign for a man.
(I never, in fact, I never asked how much he’s earning, I just gave him all the utility, credit and school bills, and ask weekly rations for the grocery, what he earns, he shares, what I earn is mine, LOL, but do shopping for him sometimes)
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
(I commit sometimes, depends on the intensity of the situation, but I never submit that’s for sure)
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
(It’s just that I’m just so sure about myself to survive and live whatever happens to this monogamous relationship, so I couldn’t care less)
Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says; You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts...
(Very well, a reason why I’m perfecting solo hobbies, gaahhh, that’s minus the crochet, lelz)
Thanks Oprah for your words of wisdom.